New research out of ESMT Berlin, UCLA Anderson, and two other business schools tracked 302 people for a week, pinging them at random times to ask what they'd just been doing. The finding: more than 30% of everyday social interactions involved some form of negotiation - reaching agreement, making a joint decision, resolving a disagreement, persuading someone, or mediating between others. Classic back-and-forth bargaining, the kind most of us picture when we hear the word "negotiation," showed up in only 2.7% of interactions. The far more common pattern was simply two people trying to get to "yes" together.
After three-plus decades as a trial lawyer and now as a full-time mediator, that distinction resonates with me. The negotiations that actually move a case toward resolution are rarely about who can out-posture the other side on a number. They're about two parties, often worn down by years of litigation, trying to find their way back to agreement.
You can read more about the study here: https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/1139816
What's the most unexpected place you've found yourself negotiating this week?
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